Now that the spooky season is finally behind us, I feel like I can openly talk with witches about the annoyances that flood my inbox. Now do not get me wrong, my non-witch followers I love dearly, and ask a lot of really thoughtful questions! This is not directed at them. Honestly, it’s not directed at most people. But there is a significant volume of messages or real-life encounters I have that I’m truly sick of, and can’t be alone in.

1. Don’t Out your Friends/Family.

Now there is an expression, called “coming out of the broom closet,” that has a lot of debate circling, whether it’s appropriate to use as it has been seen as minimizing LGBTQIA+ coming out stories. I am not trying to use that here, to be clear, I am just your boring ol’ cis straight woman, and definitely don’t want to compare this experience with that experience, as I know nothing about being LGBT+ on a personal level. Now, that being said, there is a lot of prejudice that comes with the word witch. You may think it’s so cool that your friend/family member is a practicing witch! We love that support from you! However, just because YOU support it, does not mean the rest of the world agrees with you. It’s not your decision to make, whether or not your friend/family member wants others to know. I spent the last chunk of time in a very small town, and although I have no been met with direct criticism, that’s also because I haven’t told anyone until after I’ve gotten to know them. I don’t hide who I mind you- I am not someone who feels the need to hide. However, when people see my pentacle keychains or my “Boss Witch” shirt, I get a lot of looks and a lot of prayer cards. I’m fine with it, cuz I also don’t give a shit what anyone thinks- but I am the minority. Not everyone who practices magick, also has it as their profession, therefore they may not be comfortable with it and that’s okay. Don’t be that guy who accidentally outcasted your friend/family member. It’s not your business to share- keep your mouth shut.

2. Don’t compare it to Harry Potter.

Hey, I love Harry Potter as much as the next guy (Slytherin forever), but movie witchcraft and real-life witchcraft are not the same. For starters, real witches aren’t playing pretend, so like full stop there. OFC you can talk about Harry Potter, but as… a series you enjoy. Not as a launching point of familiarity with your new information on your friend being a witch. Knock it off.

3. Asking for Free Work.

Just stop it. Seriously, stop it. Firstly, inboxing me “hi” and “hi” only, tells me right away you’re going to ask for something for free, and I’m too old and too tired to respond to that. IF and that is a big if, the witch in questions does offer spellwork, tarot, etc, as a service, asking for free work is literally the rudest shit you could do. This one may just be a me issue. I am without a doubt happy to help you with any and all magickal needs within my capabilities. That being said, would you go to any other service offered and ask for free work? I mean maybe you would, in which case you have much bigger issues you should sort out. It’s very very rude, and the fact I have to even say this is stressful in its own right.

4. Stop asking to make your partner get back with you.

Now to preface, there are witches out there that would be happy to do this kind of spellwork. I personally am not one of them. That being said- when the witch you ask says no to this kind of work- it means no. No means no, not convince me, jot that down, folks. We seem to live in this culture, where a variety of people think that there is some game being played, where we turn you away but if you return we will change our mind. If I say no- it’s not a game- it’s a no. Your relationship was toxic, or not working out and I empathize with the situation, really I do. But don’t try to force someone to be with you- what happens with that wears off? What happens when it’s too much? Instead of asking for love spells to repair a deeply broken relationship, let’s look inward. Look for spells to attract new love to you, or even to help you heal with your loss.

5. Taking the Magick Pill

Okay, this one drives me nuts. Real-life is not Sabrina, nor is it AHS. There isn’t a dark baptism coming your way, or some Matrix-esque magick pill you take and suddenly you can levitate. Contacting someone, who isn’t a mentor, asking for them to teach you everything they know, as though there is a snap and suddenly you’re filled with arcane knowledge, is not only frustrating but unrealistic. Learning about witchcraft and magick is a life long education. You have to study, from real books, trial and error, and general research. You get what you put into it. Paths such as hoodoo, are closed religions, that require a 1:1 mentor, that takes YEARS to master- and again its a closed religion. Now there are a variety of mentor programs out there, I have one! But you get what you put into it. It’s not a light switch, it’s like any other craft. You don’t become a woodworking apprentice and the next day you are doing beautiful, grand staircases. No, it takes time and practice. If you can’t commit, that is without a doubt fine! But don’t get mad at me, or anyone else, that you’re not suddenly manipulating the skies after a day. That’s not fair to either of us.

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Okay, that’s probably enough of that now. Please know, these are my opinions that I am frustrated with. I love you all so dearly, most of this is common courtesy that I shouldn’t even have to say! Really, truly, no means no guys, not convince me.